Friday, October 24, 2003
  Doh! There's no Friday five today? Oh well, might as well indulge my current introspective streak with more 5000 question survey stuff. This time, part two! 50. Have you ever saved someone's life or had your life saved? I'd like to think I have, but you never really know. Those that have saved my life (musicians mostly) never knew they had done it. The odd thing about that is, I think these people know me, because they sing about stuff that I deal with, and yet there are many (if not millions of) others who feel the same way I do about them. Knowing this doesn't seem to detract from how much I love them, or how grateful I am to have been given the gift of their words at just the right time, just when I needed them most. So yes, many people have saved my life and never even known it, so I suppose that I could have done the same.

52. What was the last thing you made with your own hands? I try not to do that too often. My hands were not made to make other things. I'm clumsy and don't see very well. Thinking waaay back though, I made a cat toy from a rolled up piece of foil and some string. :>

53. What was your favorite toy as a child? Ooo that's a toughy. There were so many great toys back then. I loved legos. Back then they sold em in huge, fairly shallow rectangular boxes that held tons of pieces. We didn't have 'kits' but rather a collection of blocks that you used your imagination with. Etch A Sketch was fun too.

54. How many TV's are in your house? 4

55. What is your favorite thing to do outside? I used to love to play fetch with my dog, but he's gotten too old for that now. He'll run for it once, then he just gives up. :> Now, I just like to look up at a nice blue sky and daydream or collect my thoughts. In warmer weather I write outside sometimes or swim.

56. How do you feel when you see a rainbow? It's usually a sign that I've done something right or that someone who's looking out for me is trying to tell me something. :) I've got quite a few guardian spirits around me, no doubt :)

57. Have you ever dreampt a dream that came true? No, my dreams are usually of the 'strange and disturbing' type. If I dream, and I rarely do, I had better hope that it doesn't come to pass.

58. Have you ever been to a psychic/tarot reader? Nope, but I've read my own tarot cards, if that counts. Either I read too much into my cards or they are extremely accurate, almost scarily so.

59. What is your idea of paradise? My ultimate paradise would be me together with my true love, with no games, no misunderstandings, no misread signals. They would know me completely, I could tell them everything and they could do the same with me. I wouldn't be afraid anymore. That's my idea of paradise. Well, that or a good book and a warm fire. Whichever comes first.

60-61. Do you believe in heaven and if so what is it like? Do you believe in hell? I don't know. Damn this agnostic heart o mine! I'd like to think it exists. I think it exists for those who believe that it does. I'm pretty sure there's something beyond death, although I haven't the foggiest what. I am a true believer in karma. I doubt that a loving God would create hell or invoke it on even the worst of us. Neil Gaiman said something about this in a Sandman. We make our own hell. When we have transgressed against what we believe to be right, we decide that we need to be punished. Then we die, and we go where we think we deserve to be. If its hell, than its one of our own making. I think that's pretty true. I also think that we, all of us, live a hell on earth designed and built by us when we think we deserve it.

62. What one thing have you done that most people haven't? I can't speak for anyone but myself. I dunno...Maybe...Just have been incredibly thankful and joyful to be alive? To know what an incredible gift it is? I don't think most people see it that way...

63. What is the kindest thing you have ever done? Oh, I'm full up on kindness. See the last post. Being kind to others is easy. Being kind to myself is incredibly hard. I've forgiven people that others certainly wouldn't have. I've forgiven my father and my mother for all that they've done to shape me into the mess you see before you. That's kindness enough.

64. Are you a patient person? Yes.

65-66. What holiday should exist but doesn't? What holiday shouldn't exist but does? Why do we have Columbus day and St. Pat's day and not holidays for all the other great nationality's we have? No 'Native American' day? No 'Indian' day, or "Spanish day" or "Puerto Rico" day? Why have those without these others??

69. Is your hair its natural color? No, its natural color is brown. It's current (and future) color is gray. :p 70. Do you have any deep dark secrets or are you pretty much upfront? I'm upfront about pretty much everything. There's a certain part of my life that I'd rather not discuss. Only because its over and done with and nothing I say about it will change it. Then again, it has shaped me, and without discussing it, I will never fully heal.

71. What is under your bed right now? Dust bunnies

72 .If you were in the land of oz would you want to live there or go home? Go home, no doubt. Those flying monkeys scare the shit out of me.

73. What is the world's best song to dance to? That's constantly changing based on my mood. It's usually an Everly brother's or Springsteen tune though.

74. What song was on the last time you danced with someone? An obscure song from a band called The Knockout Drops. :>

75. Do you prefer Disney or Warner brothers? Oh, old WB cartoons BLOW Disney out of the water . Bugs, daffy, etc, were funny for kids AND for adults. They still make me laugh out loud. Disney does things well but (except for Pixar) never made me laugh or even smile.

76. What is the first animal you would run to see if you went to the zoo? Big cats or bears. Polar bears are a big fave. They are so incredible.

78. Would you consider yourself to be romantic? Hmm, no not in the least. I should be, I pine for love enough, but I am too focused on reality (and dislike myself too much) to think along those lines.

79. What is the one thing that you love to do so much that you would make sacrifices to be able to do it? Build on muds! And I've already made quite a few sacrifices. :>

81. If you (and everyone) had to lose one right or freedom but you could pick which one what would you pick? Freedom of the press. Bloodsuckers, all of them. If I no longer had to stand up for their right to print what they want, I sure as hell wouldn't. :>

82. If you had to choose would you live on the equator or at the north pole? Hmm north pole, I can't stand the heat :>

83. Would you rather give up listening to music or watching television? Television, no question. Music sustains me, TV is the opiate of the masses. :p

84. What do you think makes someone a hero? Courage, never giving up. Believing in yourself when no one else does.

85. What cartoon would you like to be a character in? Why, the simpsons, of course! I could be Lisa. In fact, I think I AM Lisa...

86. Name one thing that turns your stomach Mushrooms. YECH.

87. What was the last thing you paid for? A bunch of CDs on Amazon. :>

88. Is there magic even in mundane things??

89. Get anything good in the mail recently? The aforementioned CDs.

90. Which would you rather take as a gym class...Dancing, sailing, karate, or bowling? Mmm. Sailing!

92. What insects are you afraid of? Spiders. Bees...Wasps... Pretty much all of em.

93. If you could print any phrase on a t-shirt, what would it say? D'oh!

94. What's the most eccentric thing you have ever worn? Oh...My fashion 'sense' is always tingling. I wear stuff that's closest in the closet. Nothing is ever matched. :>

95. If you could pick one food that you could eat all you wanted of forever and not gain a single ounce from what food would it be? Silly! Ice Cream! Of course.

97. Have you ever caught an insect and kept it as a pet? God no! Kill it! Kill it! No wild animals either.

98-99. What is the difference between wishes and plans? Which is more helpful? Wishes are what you daydream about. I don't do a lot of that. I do a lot of planning though and that's much more useful. I don't like to think of what may or may not actually happen. False hope is never good.

100. You are spending the night alone in the woods and may bring only 3 items with you. What do you bring? A sleeping bag, some bug spray and a good book to read under the stars. Mmmm..

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