Thursday, December 04, 2003
  I knew I loved you the first time I saw you. You weren't mine then, you belonged to someone else. He beamed a huge grin as he showed you off to us, and who can blame him? You were beautiful. You ARE beautiful. Age has perhaps not been kind to you but you remain the most beautiful creature in any room you occupy.

When I finally had you, we did everything, I spent every waking moment by your side, and slept curled up next to you, my ever vigilant guard. I felt safe just being near you. Whenever you are near, I am not afraid.

Now you are aging, and far faster than I can keep up. Your back; your legs; your hips bother you and you must be in almost constant pain, yet you never complain. I watch you grow slower every day. Not long ago, the seizures started. I ache watching them take you and twist your limbs and make you scream in pain and I wonder. How long before I must decide? How much time do you and I have? Most of all I wonder, will I have the courage to let you go when your time comes or will I be selfish? Will I put my need for you above your need to go? I hope not. I hope I will be strong for you, but, I miss you already...

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